India #1: Diabisity and Remittances and Global Indian Takeover

As I mentioned in an earlier blog entry coffee or tea in India usually refers to the flavor of milk served in a small cup with a lot of sugar. There is this new term in India called “Diabisty”, obviously a combination of diabetes and obesity. There are articles about this epidemic in Newspapers almost every day saying India is the diabetes capital of the world. Out of curiosity, I googled :India Diabetes capital and from what was returned apparently this is old news . India is indeed #1 and the world diabetes capital. I for my part have given up and ask for tea or coffee without any sugar as less sugar usually refers to 5 tablespoons, I think. Maybe I should pitch this radical idea to the esteemed Health Minister.

India is #1 on another list, Remittances, according to this aptly titled article: Remittance: India tops the world. I guess the best way for Indians to generate money in India is to leave the country and send money back home. This apparently is a matter of pride. Again as I mentioned this is a nation where anything can be used as propaganda and the masses will lap it up.

This dubious article: 36% of scientists at NASA are Indians: Govt survey appeared on the front page of the Times of India. I am reproducing some portions as it is pretty funny:

NEW DELHI: If you thought that Global Indian Takeover was just a hollow cliche leaning on a few iconic successes like Pepsi's Indra Nooyi, Citibank's Vikram Pandit and steel world's Lakshmi Mittal, there is a slew of statistics now to give it solid ballast.
The extent to which desis have made an impact in the US was reeled off in the Rajya Sabha — as many as 12% scientists and 38% doctors in the US are Indians, and in NASA, 36% or almost 4 out of 10 scientists are Indians.
If that's not proof enough of Indian scientific and corporate prowess, digest this: 34% employees at Microsoft, 28% at IBM, 17% at Intel and 13% at Xerox are Indians.

Anyway, there was a follow up in the Times of India titled India rising in US: Govt falls victim to net hoax. Here are some highlights:

Both Microsoft and NASA say they don't keep an ethnic headcount. While they acknowledge that a large number of their employees are of Indian origin, it is hardly in the 30-35 per cent range.
NASA workers say the number of Indians in the organization is in the region of 4-5 per cent, but the 36 per cent figure is pure fiction.

I guess along with Diabisity, this whole propoganda about India taking over the world seems to another epidemic that needs to be tackled right away.

What about your Bush?

One of the most frustrating things in India is that you usually cannot have logical discussions. Somehow most of the Indians are convinced that they are superior to every other culture. Most of the front pages in newspapers are filled with glowing stories how well the country is doing. There will be few meaningful articles, but they are usually hidden in the middle pages and probably people brush them aside. Like the one on the Scarlette Keeling murder case in Goa by Brinda Karat, a Member of Parliament titled Don't punish the victim.

Scarlette Keeling was a 15 year old British tourist who was brutally raped and murdered in Goa. Initially, there was a cover up. But after her mother demanded another autopsy it was confirmed that she was indeed raped and murdered. Then all hell broke loose. People started blaming the mother for letting this happen. The Goa government threatened to charge the mother with neglect and put her in jail if she did not disappear. There was this nice discussion in parliament where a Congress MP blamed the mother and his esteemed colleague, the tourism minister who also happens to be a woman said "He has a point".

For the uninitiated and those without any values and lack of culture trying to make sense, here is the logic. The mom gave her daughter freedom. The daughter got drunk and may have had consensual sex and may have had drugs. This caused her to be raped and murdered as expected. Now imagine the gall of the mother to question this.

In India Two wrongs make a right, most of times during discussions. For example I might bring up the condition of the roads in Mumbai and the person I would be discussing this would criticize Condi Rice. I would ask him to forget Condi and steer the topic back to the roads. Then it would get personal and he would ask me if I had a Green Card. I would say yes. Then the person would say I had no business talking about roads in India as I am American. I remember this heated argument I had about former Indian president Abdul Kalam when this person suddenly asked rather loudly "Excuse me but what about your Bush?". My response was an equally angry "Pardon me". It took a couple of seconds to figure out he was talking about "my" president.

Bombay, Bollywood and Billionaires

My hometown Bombay, renamed Mumbai is India’s commercial capital. India’s main stock market is the BSE or Bombay Stock Exchange. It is home to Bollywood, a cartel which exports “Indian” culture and values in the form of films. It is also home to many of the billionaires in the Forbes list that was released recently. So it is like New York and LA rolled into one.

Bombayites or Mumbaikars are very proud of their city. They consider it India’s #1 city. The Times of India, one of India’s oldest newspapers is based in Mumbai. It too continues to hype the city in its front pages. There are articles about how commercial real estate is more expensive than NYC.

Recently, Forbes also released a list of the “Worst Cities in the world”. Mumbai was ranked 7th in a list headed by cities like Baku, Azerbaijan. Cities like Maputo, Mozambique and Luanda, Angola were rated to be better than Mumbai. This piece of news was on page 16 of the Times of India. Page 20 also had an editorial about how the American billionaires like Warren Buffet and Bill Gates were giving away all their fortune to charitable causes. It also questioned the philanthropic endeavors of the Indian billionaires who indulge in garish displays of their wealth during parties and weddings.

The Times of India also produces movies and carries reviews of the movies it makes. Conflict of interest is an alien concept in most of South Asia. It carries vital information like how Amitabh Bachan received a Rolls Royce as a gift from a movie producer. His son received a Bentley as a gift from a politician. India’s famous cricketer, Sachin Tendular received a Ferrari as a gift, presented by former F1 great Michael Schumacher no less.

I am curious as to how and where these people drive these cars in Mumbai. Does it even prick their conscience when they consider the infrastructure of their “home” town? Instead of being part of propaganda, why not even a single person rises up and tells the truth as it is and demands something better for the people of their home-town. These are people who are considered role-models. These are people with connections. These are people who could initiate change. These are people who love Mumbai, or at least they proclaim it in the pages of the Times of India.

Slum Tourism

The ultimate virgin, Sir Richard Branson was in Mumbai recently. He was pitching among other things Space Tourism. There was a huge supplement in today’s paper about its future. Tucked in the middle pages of today’s paper was a debate about Slum Tourism. It apparently is the next big offering in India for foreigners.

It is a guided tour where a group of people gets a chance to get a firsthand look at the pathetic living conditions of fellow human beings. Mumbai is like a big slum and every day I get this tour during my drive to and from work. You see these people defecating and showering and getting ready to work. You see them cooking and their semi-naked children playing. All that is left is like 50 square feet of space with a roof rigged with tin, tarp or newspapers with a little of their belongings. Apparently these human beings do not deserve that one last shred of dignity and privacy. People can barge in unannounced and take photographs and videos. This further demonizes the white foreigner who is presumed to be American.

Apparently these tours are organized by NGOs and there are “guidelines”. But who ensures that the guidelines are being followed? Something needs to be done to address this issue. But it is not that simple. I remember a few years back, the government gave them free housing. But it was located far from where these people work. So they rented out their homes and moved back to the slums as it was a more convenient arrangement and they made some extra cash from the rent.

Personally, I still cannot believe that people would be willing to pay to go and see the squalid living conditions of others, whatever their intent may be. I guess there are no limits to voyeurism these days and I shudder to think what will be next.

Finally, some good Indian pulp fiction

I finished reading “One night @ the Call Center” last night. I enjoyed it a lot as it was a very easy read and mostly entertaining. Calling it a novel maybe a stretch, but I was happy to read a something by an Indian author that will not be nominated for the Booker Prize.

I usually lament with a couple of my Indian born friends who are also avid readers about the lack of mindless Indian novels. Most books by “Indian” authors are dense. It is a saga about this lady who misses the river and the mango tree and her grandmother’s chutney while walking down the streets of New York to meet her daughter and her white boyfriend at Columbia University. Again, they romanticize and celebrate India similar to Bollywood movies. They have titles like “Inheritance of loss” or “Interpreter of Maladies” or “The God of small things”. I have enjoyed each of the books mentioned here. And they have either won or have been nominated for the Booker or the Pulitzer.

I have read books by Salman Rushdie, who I think deserves the Nobel Prize for literature. But, say there is a situation in his book, where a boy wants to go out with a girl. Rushdie can go on and on, bringing up the Mahabharata and the Iliad and Sigmund Freud and 20 pages later you are confused as to what you were reading about.

It took me just a couple of nights to finish “One night @ the Call Center”. It was funny and contemporary with well developed characters. It tries to delve into some of the aspects of this new generation of Indians. They make money working odd hours using a different name, rather a different persona. They put up with the abuse dished out by the “stupid fat Americans” while saving a lot of money for the companies. The author does tend to go a little overboard with his criticism of America and Americans. An “Easter egg” in Microsoft Word has an important role, but is incorrectly referred to as a “bug”. The end is a bit cheesy like a Bollywood movie. Incidentally it is being made into one, with 45 year old Salman Khan, fresh from another hair transplant, playing the main 25 year old character.

Dyslexia and Bollywood

I started noticing a spate of articles on Dyslexia in various publications during this stay. I was pleasantly surprised and happy that it is being acknowledged as a problem in India. Most of the articles were rational and compassionate. This, in a nation where a few years back the Minister of Health said that AIDS was not a problem in India as we had better morals. It is now accepted that AIDS is an “epidemic” here.

This education on Dyslexia began with the hit Bollywood movie from last year called Taare Zameen Par (Stars on Earth). It is directed by Amir Khan, one of the few people in Bollywood who actually likes and understands the medium of cinema. I have not seen this movie yet, but there are special screenings almost every day with more people getting curious about this issue.

This has been one of my pet peeves when it comes to Bollywood. Its power and reach is something that could be put to good use from time to time. The Bollywood community is mostly a tightly knit, in-bred group which leads a life style that is vastly different from the values portrayed in the movies. There are divorces, couples living together before marriage, single moms and even bigamy. Most spend a lot of time living abroad while making movies frowning upon the heathen western lifestyle. It has become a propaganda machine for Indian values and this false propaganda is perpetuated by those who do not believe or practice it.

Cinema is primarily entertainment and most of the Bollywood movies supposedly offer an escape for the masses. But it is also arrogant to assume that your audience is stupid and just wants to see song and dance sequences and the same story line over and over again. Most of the Bollywood movies bomb and these geniuses are still trying to figure out why. I hope since a movie about dyslexia was a hit, more movies covering other issues are made from time to time in Bollywood.

Women's Day: What about those poor boys?

Today, March 8, 2008, is International Women’s Day. There has been so much hype surrounding this in India. In fact, they have managed to turn this into Women’s week. There are sales, events, editorials and TV programs.

There were special supplements in most newspapers where there was coverage on both sides of the issue. The progress that has been made and also the plight of women in rural India. As usual there are numbers thrown around about the male-female ratio, infanticide etc.

An aspect that seems to have been missed or dismissed, when bringing up the issue of the plight of girls and women in rural India. My driver is from a village in Jharkand. He has an elder son and a daughter. He wants his son to move to Mumbai as soon as he is 18, so that he too can start earning. That way they can start saving for the wedding of his daughter. What about the boy's future?

Why does he want his daughter married off? He is worried about her safety among other things. There are articles written about how the son gets first dibs at dinner and the women eat what is left. Well, for this boy who is 14, it is not going to last long. In a few years, he will move out to Mumbai and start earning. He has a tough life ahead as he toils away and probably gets married and lives a similar life, like his father. But, for now he gets to call his dad while he is driving around Mumbai, asking him to send him a shirt for his Birthday. His dad could not do that.

The plight of women is important and still remains an issue in any society: Indian or American. But when you throw in poverty, it becomes more of a child issue and maybe not a boy or a girl issue.

India #1: What do Karan Johar and Amaratya Sen have in common?

As I mentioned I have been reading books by so called Indian born intellectuals touting India. I stopped watching Bollywood flicks that tout Indian values and Indian culture some time back.

For those fortunate enough to have not watched the Bollywood blockbusters, here is how it works. A typical movie would be set in London where there is this Ferrari driving kid of Indian origin whose dad had humble origins. He loves India and anything Indian. So he decides to travel around Europe. Women fall on him and there are songs that show skimpy women gyrating to some Bhangra/hip-hop beats. He dances with them but remains an “Indian” at heart. He meets this Indian girl who works for the Sydney Symphony. She too is in Europe because she loves India. A couple of songs follow, one set in Sydney and the other in Amsterdam. They might even discuss the utter lack of morals in the west and how they love India. Anyway, after a lot of twists and turns, they have a lavish wedding in Paris and settle down in Geneva. He is now a banker and since she wanting to do something for the kids on the streets of India, decides to teach ballet to kids of wealthy Swiss bankers. This is usually referred to as a “script” in Bollywood parlance. This refreshingly new script could have been developed by India Lover Karan Johar who spends most of his time outside India since he loves India so much and is a patriot. The name of the movie could be India #1.

Now, for those of you who have been lucky to not lay your hands on Nobel Prize winning economist Amratya Sen’s rant titled “The Argumentative Indian”. This usually involves an Indian with multiple degrees preferably one each from Oxford and Harvard, or Cambridge and Yale or any other combination. He has spent around 30-40 years in the West either as a successful executive, but mostly as a tenured professor. He then decides to get a gig in India and gets a bungalow and a chauffeured A/C car. He gets a hefty pay and keeps travelling to conferences abroad. He may even be on the chair of a couple of NGOs and may have an opinion column in a leading newspaper. He will spew some jargon which is a mix of his take on some archaic ancient Indian texts and the current GDP of India, similar to what is in his bestselling book. He will somehow make a connection between the two in a column and fill it with other meaningless numbers and figures, more of which you could read in his aptly titled book, "India #1".

As for me, I have spent more than a month here. I do have a chauffeured A/C car at my disposal. The driver earns Rs 4000 a month (around $100). He lives with 4 more drivers in a room. Their families are in their native villages as he says they would have to move to a slum if they bring them to Mumbai. I get to read my newspaper during the hour or so it takes to travel 5 miles in Mumbai these days. I am still trying to figure out if I got a little lucky or everything is so great here that India is indeed #1.